BDSM Guide for Beginners

If you have come here after the bondage that you have seen in movies, you should realize that you haven’t explored even half of what is possible in BDSM. There is no need to feel uncomfortable learning about BDSM as it is just another sexual fantasy which goes a little towards the extreme side. The intensity of it depends on the limits of the couple who is involved in it.

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, is a power exchange activity which has been practised from a long time ago. It involves a person giving his or her total body control to another person. This kind of experience is often enjoyed by couples which include a dominant and submissive partner. People do not usually try out BDSM on hook-ups as it is an activity that requires the trust of your partner. No one wants to get tied up by a stranger, not knowing what’s about to happen next.

What makes BDSM?

Many may have the question of what level of dominance and submission makes an experience a BDSM. It depends on where you set the limits, but it usually starts where you and your partner use some controlling accessories like blindfolds, handcuffs, and ropes in your play. Anything that two people show control over each other may become a BDSM sexual experience. There are a few essential terms of BDSM experience that you should know.


The person who takes control of the session or is usually the dominant one in the pair is the dominator. He or she dominates the other person mentally or physically.


The person who gives his or her control to their partner is the submissive one. Their role is to follow the commands of the dominator and take the pressure of their domination.


“Switch” is someone who enjoys playing both the roles at different times and situations. They can enjoy both the roles with their partner or change their roles with different play partners.

The sexual aspect of BDSM

Some people can have a very sexual focus when they involve themselves in BDSM, while others can also have a psychological desire to fulfil. It is important to understand what you expect from BDSM and share it with your partner before you indulge in the activity. It will create a consent that you need for the session and will help you enjoy rather worrying for each other.

The safety aspects of BDSM

BDSM is an activity which deals with deeper parts of the psyche of a relationship. Giving away your control to someone else needs trust, or else you are compromising on your safety. People have different levels of sexual excitements and desires. Consent and safety measures help both the parties to enjoy the session under their limits. Do not give way for physical and mental hurt and abuse when you are trying out BDSM. The best way to do it is only to discuss safe words, consent, and list of limits with a person you can trust.

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